Do I Finally Have A Healthy Relationship With Food? Reflections On A Reparative Experience
Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders, Bullying, Child Abuse
I have had a difficult relationship with food most of my life. From approximately the ages 11-21 I struggled with various Eating Disorders and sub-clinical Disordered Eating, going through periods of Restriction, Binge-Purging, & Bingeing. My Eating Disorder can be traced back to my Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) & early life Trauma;
A Return To Structural Dissociation
I’ve talked previously in my content about my experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), particularly of my experiences as an Integrated System. The past couple of months I have been exploring my remaining Structural Dissociation/Fragments further, Fragments that I had previously not been aware of, and it is has been fascinating. This has been in tandem with a course project that I have been working on for one of my Graduate classes on Attachment Trauma and Systems Theories. My journey did not begin voluntarily, but rather as a necessity as Dissociative Symptoms began intruding on my life again. Before we dive into more recent events, let’s go over my experiences with DID proper…
Accepting The Traumatized Self
What do you do with emotions that challenge your sense of self, sentiments that feel alien but are nonetheless yours? As someone who has experienced Delusions for years, this is not a foreign sensation, but my current predicament is more disturbing than any Delusion has been in many years, as the origin of the emotions is not Psychotic.
Let me explain.