Do I Finally Have A Healthy Relationship With Food? Reflections On A Reparative Experience
Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders, Bullying, Child Abuse
I have had a difficult relationship with food most of my life. From approximately the ages 11-21 I struggled with various Eating Disorders and sub-clinical Disordered Eating, going through periods of Restriction, Binge-Purging, & Bingeing. My Eating Disorder can be traced back to my Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) & early life Trauma;
Further Discussions On Embodiment In Schizophrenia
I have previously discussed in my writings the altered sense of embodiment that I experience because of my Schizophrenia, both here and on my podcast. Because of my Schizophrenia, how I orient myself in my body and experience my Body-As-Self is altered. Simultaneously, my consciousness feels very compartmentalized and I also feel boundary-less. I feel as though my Self reaches and touches everything and that I can feel and be a part of other objects. Nothing is Solid nothing is Certain.
A Return To Structural Dissociation
I’ve talked previously in my content about my experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), particularly of my experiences as an Integrated System. The past couple of months I have been exploring my remaining Structural Dissociation/Fragments further, Fragments that I had previously not been aware of, and it is has been fascinating. This has been in tandem with a course project that I have been working on for one of my Graduate classes on Attachment Trauma and Systems Theories. My journey did not begin voluntarily, but rather as a necessity as Dissociative Symptoms began intruding on my life again. Before we dive into more recent events, let’s go over my experiences with DID proper…