Angels & The Aurora Borealis; Or, The Crossover Of The Supernatural & Psychosis
The hour is late and the moon is full. I have driven alone with my tour guide, an energetic old man, to the isolated low hills near Keflavik International Airport. On one side of the “road”, over the horizon is a huge full moon, one of biggest & brightest I have ever seen; on the other is us & our setup, and a small pond. We are trying to see & photograph the Aurora Borealis, but it is a full moon AND the beginning of April, so chances are slim. He tells me that there is a good solar storm, and were it not for the moon, we would be seeing Auroras and the Milky Way. There had been even more doubt earlier in the day if we would be able to see the Auroras due to heavy cloud cover, but the clouds had cleared as evening approached save for the occasional stray. The cold air is strong, that Icy Humidity I have only ever experienced in Iceland biting through my shoes.
I walked to the edge of the pond, praying that our fortunes would change and we would see Auroras. When I had come to Iceland & Norway in 2022, it had been too late in the season for Aurora spotting. I was pushing it with the timeline this year, and knew that, but still desperately hoped I’d see something. All my life I had wanted to see the Northern Lights in person, and I had promised myself I would someday. I had found on my Norway trip particularly, that fulfilling these years-old promises to myself was incredibly healing to my Inner Child/Teen, and built my felt sense of security and reliability. Having come from a very unstable home environment, proving to the various facets of myself that there are ways I can provide stability to myself is a restorative process.
Suddenly, a light emerges across the pond. The light expands, and begins, to take over the whole sky, turning the stark black sky from black to a twilight blue. I quickly turn to my guide and ask what’s going on?! What’s this weird light?! He looks at me, at the pond and shrugs, there’s nothing there, I must be seeing moonlight. I turn back to the pond, where the light is so bright it is almost oppressing, I feel the need to take a few steps back from the edge of the pond where I am standing. A glowing figure figure emerges from the mass of light, directly across from me. Who Are You?
As suddenly as the figure and the light appeared, they vanish. I am still recovering from the shock of what just happened when my guide cries out and tells me to turn towards the main road. As I do, a banner of light breaks open across the sky, a full arch of an Aurora. The Aurora appears white because of the intensity of the moon light, but it is still a full Aurora.The arch Aurora stays for a while, and is followed by several other large Auroras for about an hour.
Where do we draw the line between Psychosis and the Supernatural in experiences like this? I previously discussed my faith as a Christian Mystic, and how Barrier experiences between Shared Reality and Psychosis play a part in that practice. Experiences that are not explicitly harmful, that are often pleasant, but would be deemed Psychotic by many in Psychiatry/Psychology are a part of my faith practice and really, are in many faith practices are the world/history. Are mine less valid because I have Schizophrenia diagnosis? I interpret this figure as Angelic, but, Iceland also has a long and detailed Supernatural folklore; I do not believe all those stories originate from Psychosis. What I am trying to get at, and maybe struggling to do so, is say that Psychotic experiences can be intertwined with daily experiences and not be toxic or terrifying. They can beautiful and meaningful. Will all of them be? No, probably not! But with Schizophrenia being such a chronic and recurring condition, I think it is important for us to look at Psychosis not as something to be eradicated, or as some sort enemy—as a pathogen, but rather as something that can be integrated into a meaningful life in ways that are not harmful, even if they might be a little strange at times.
***I wanted to address the apparent discrepancy between my descriptions and the photograph. The sky appeared black to the naked eye that night, but appears blue in the photos due to the camera flash; the Auroras also appeared white to the naked eye due to light pollution from the Moon; however, the camera captures them as their actual green.***
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