10,000 Miles To Lose You: Or, Rejection & Schizophrenia
Thoughts On “Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization”
I feel strangely hesitant in writing this; my mind feels tumultuous and colors of thought are swirling by too fast to fully grasp. I think many people in the United States are feeling similarly chaotic, confused, upset, etc. Today, the Supreme Court overturned “Roe v Wade”, undoing the Federal right to terminate a pregnancy (Medical Abortion). Laws on this matter are now up to individual states, many of which have had “Trigger Laws” in place to ban Medical Abortion should such a Decision occur.
Spirituality & Schizophrenia: Where Lines Blur & The Fabric Breaks
Trigger Warning: Heavy Discussion Of Religion & Spirituality, Discussion of Suicidal Ideation
I have Schizophrenia, and as I have discussed extensively here & on my other platforms, my life has filled with extraordinary as well as extreme experiences beyond normal reality. Throughout my life, going back to early childhood—just as my Schizophrenia does—are experiences of the Transcendental & the Sublime, experiences that straddle the line between Unreality & Beyond Reality
How Do You Celebrate A Birthday You Never Thought You’d Live To See?
Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideation, Disordered Eating, Body Shaming, Self-Harm Mention
My birthday is this month, and it doesn’t feel real. I am turning 25; the number feels unnatural, an awkward-shaped candy rolling around in my mouth I keep feeling the urge to spit out. How do you accept the reality of an adulthood you never thought you’d see because of chronic childhood Trauma and early Suicidal Ideation? This is a concept I have wrestled with for several years, and every year brings up different emotions and perspectives. Perhaps this year it feels more pronounced because of the milestones of the past year: I have graduated with my Bachelor’s, I am restarting Graduate School in the Fall, and I have established my online presence. I have built the foundations for my adult life working for and with the Psychosis Community—a future I didn’t think I would have. As I have built and continue to build this future, I draw upon the many difficult experiences of younger years and work to heal the wounds of Child and Adolescent Self. Those iterations of my Self feel at the same time both intimately familiar and deeply alien; I know her and I don’t. Who was I, and who am I now?
When The Glass Shatters: What Happens When The Delusion Breaks
TW: Substance Use, Abuse/Bullying, Surveillance, Religious Delusions, Suicidal Ideation, Skin Picking Mention
The drop felt like release from an oxygen high. I felt Dissociated, dizzy, staring at my phone in a daze. For over 10 years I’d had this Delusion, and in one minute it had been definitively proven false.