October Ghosts

Trigger Warning: Suicide, Eating Disorder, Unreality, Bullying Discussion

The wind blows gently, causing yellow leaves to dance and swirl as they drop from maple trees. The blistering heat and oppressive humidity of the summer season have left and autumn has finally reached the mid-Atlantic. When I was a child, fall felt like new beginnings, more New Year than New Year’s Day. There was always a strong Hope in me that this would be the school year that I would find my Forever Friends, that I would be accepted, that the torment would stop—and each year my hopes were vanquished. Halloween was a high point for my young Schizotypal self, I loved imaginary play deeply, engaging in it longer than many of peers, and Halloween was a vivd, immersive experience for me.