October Ghosts
Trigger Warning: Suicide, Eating Disorder, Unreality, Bullying Discussion
The wind blows gently, causing yellow leaves to dance and swirl as they drop from maple trees. The blistering heat and oppressive humidity of the summer season have left and autumn has finally reached the mid-Atlantic. When I was a child, fall felt like new beginnings, more New Year than New Year’s Day. There was always a strong Hope in me that this would be the school year that I would find my Forever Friends, that I would be accepted, that the torment would stop—and each year my hopes were vanquished. Halloween was a high point for my young Schizotypal self, I loved imaginary play deeply, engaging in it longer than many of peers, and Halloween was a vivd, immersive experience for me.
The Disorientation Of Growing Up Schizophrenic
To be Schizophrenic is to be inherently nonconformist. Schizophrenia is a neurodevelopmental disorder, and no area of the brain appears to be untouched by the condition, even the neuroendocrine system (Yates, 2016). Every aspect of how we think and operate in the world is somehow painted by our Schizophrenia. Since Schizophrenia is neurodevelopmental, parts of it are with us from early on. While most people do not develop full symptoms until late adolescence or young adulthood, myself and many people I have met in my work experienced Psychotic symptoms from early childhood.